1. Go with your gut instinct
This rules applies to everything from what to wear on the first date, if it's going to go anywhere, if he's not the guy/girl for you and when to break up. There have been times I haven't had faith in my own judgement and have stayed in situations longer than I should have and when I've looked back I've wondered why on earth I didn't see the red flags. Sometimes love is blind or you see and hear what you choose to believing in your own warped fairy tale when you're actually in a horror story. Learn to trust your own judgement and if something doesn't feel right to you or you're not sure if something was out of line then you're probably spot on. Don't be afraid to call people out on bad behavior! Your self respect is worth a lot more than anything they have to offer.
Some people go on dates with people 'just to see' but from experience I say don't bother. If you're not super excited and getting nervous and full of butterflies then something isn't right and yes, a year or two in you may not still feel like that but on the first date you definitely definitely should! I would much rather go on a date with someone I really liked and get rejected afterwards than go on a date with someone who I wasn't sure about and be the one doing the rejecting. I can take being rejected, the horror of having to let someone else down lingers with me for far far longer!
The second rule is...
2. Be yourself
This sounds ridiculously simple but we're all guilty of pretending to be into a band or dressing a certain way that we think the person we're into likes. But you want to know that they like you for you so I say dress how you like whether that's a full face of make up and high heels at all times or a waterproof mac and wellies on and off the field. If you're someone who likes to dance stupidly in clubs and has a random sense of humour then don't pretend to be serious and grown up because one way or another it's going to come out. There will be someone who appreciates all the little things that make you different and special and if the person you're dating doesn't know the real you then you're not giving them a chance to see all those things.
The third rule is...
3. Enjoy the moment
Sometimes we can get so caught up in where is this going and what's happening and how do I feel about this we forget to just enjoy it. Don't put pressure on each other to be perfect or to measure up to your friends relationships or your families expectations. You may only get together for a few months and then leads to a life long friendship or it might span tens of years, you just don't know. So whilst it's nice to hope it might last forever or want to plan for the future you may one day look back and wish you'd spent more time enjoying those first few dates or less time being angry over the little things.
And the final rule is...
4. Appreciate each others differences
Not everyone is going to be exactly the same as you but it doesn't mean you can't be compatible. Obviously there are things you shouldn't budge on such as where you want to live, if you want to have kids and whether marriage is important to you but the little things just need some compromise. If they're not big on expressing emotion and you are try to look at the nice gestures they do rather than the big words. If they're messy or quiet or impulsive or cautious try to appreciate what that brings to the table and let little things you don't like so much about them go. You can't change a person!
Bella
x
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